HERE'S BOOMER. Boomer saves an old man's life when he correctly diagnoses a case of lung cancer.
THE ADVENTURES OF OZZIE AND HARRIET. Ozzie is locked in the ice cream store overnight. First of two parts.
LOU GRANT. Charlie (Mason Adams) wants laxative companies investigated when he has bowel problems. Rossi (Robert Walden) and Donovan (Jack Bannon) go undercover for a Trib story about gay psychopathic killers on Sunset Strip. Billie takes Animal to get his shots. Lou: Ed Asner. Crazed Killer: Roddy McDowall.
MOVIE: "Blondie Beats the System" (1952). The Bumsteads are rolling in dough, thanks to an error Dagwood (Arthur Lake) made on the new company computer. Internal Revenue Agent: Billy DeWolfe. Sarcastic Computer Repairman: Gale Gordon.
TRAPPER JOHN M.D. Old buddy Hawkeye Pierce (Jonathan Winters) visits and tries to figure out what made Trapper so bald and so boring.
MOVIE: "Simon and Garfunkel Meet Frankenstein" (1981 Made for TV Movie). See Close-Up below.
BOSOM BUDDIES. The problems of dressing up as a woman finally get to Kip (Tom Hanks). Henry meets two homosexuals from the Los Angeles Tribune.
MOVIE: "Tarzan Faces Ridicule" (1981). Tarzan seeks revenge on white devil and her husband who, disguised as filmmakers, drag Tarzan's name in ground.
GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. Domestic trouble starts when Gilligan calls Mrs. Howell a cow.
SPECIAL: "The Mandrell Sisters in Bondage." Popular country female trio (Barbara, Louise and Irlene) are tied up and forced to perform the fantasies of guest Roddy McDowall. Costumes by Bob Mackie.
MOVIE: "Andy Hardy Parties" (1949). Andy throws a wild party and gets Polly Benedict knocked up. He has to marry her or ruin his father's chances of getting re-elected judge. He takes her to Mexico for an abortion but Polly ends up jumping off a cliff instead. Andy gets sentenced to a Mexican jail and becomes a drug addict. His father is re-elected judge.
Mr. Ed. Ed wants Wilbur (Alan Young) to put him out to stud.
TOMORROW COAST-TO-COAST. Guest Secretary of the Interior James Watt discusses the proper methods to dig up plants. New regular Rona Barrettal joins the cast and introduces the "Hollywood Ash Can" segment which tonight features clips of George Bernard Shaw talking about how he can look like Mussolini. Tom Snyder talks about his new waffle iron.
LEAVE IT TO BEAVER. Beaver and Larry Mondello (Rusty Stevens) find a whip and some leather goods in Ward's closet.
MOVIE: "Play It Again, Woody" (1978). Young man (Richard Gere) is inspired in romantic conquests by the specter of Woody Allen. He ends up alone, depressed, and in analysis for several years. Linda: Meryl Streep. Cindy: Lisa Welchel. Woody: Alan Alda.
ABBA DABBA DOO. Popular international recording group Abba meet Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. Songs: "You Don't Know What You're Saying (The Lyrics Are In English)", "Wish They All Could Be Beach Boys," and "Flintstones' Theme Song."
Simon and Garfunkel Meet Frankenstein (1981 Made For TV Movie).
"I'm pretty sure I know what everybody's thinking," says Paul Simon, the successful one of the duo, "Everybody's thinking we're ripping off Abbott and Costello. I want to set the record straight. I suppose we are to a certain extent but the picture is going off into such different areas that I think any comparison between the two will be dull and void."
"I think Paul meant 'null and void,'" pipes in Art Garfunkel, "But he might be trying to make a pun too."
So begins one of the year's most imaginative TV movies which opens with the above pre-credit prologue.
The script, by Lawrence Kasdan, has the singing duo running afoul of the mad doctor Frankenstein, who has the idea of putting Garfunkel's vocal chords into the body of bass guitarist for KISS, Gene Simmons. Due to a clerical error, the vocal chords are put instead into the body of British actress Jean Simmons. It seems she is doing a revival of "Guys and Dolls" and they suit her just fine. After seeking help from the supernatural underworld of New York, Paul and Art then destroy the conventions of the American Musical Comedy as they try to get Art's vocal chords back in time for their New York Reunion concert.
Although some have reservations about Art fitting into the Lou Costello mold (and it is roomy for him), many feel the part of Bud Abbott to be made for Paul Simon. "Art probably won't act so stupid," Paul agreed, "But I will slap him around a lot." For those concerned that they may have to face a silent Garfunkel for most of the film, Kasdan comments, "Dr. Frankenstein transplanted his singing vocal chords, not his speaking vocal chords." Garfunkel will also dub a good portion of Ms. Simmons' singing.
Songs will include footage of the historic reunion concert including "The Sound of Silence," plus a couple of new tunes: "Fifty Ways to Cleave Your Lover," and "Luck Be a Lady of the Evening Tonight."
Notable in the supporting cast is Forrest J. Ackerman in his first film role in ten years since his appearance in DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN. Despite Ackerman's involvement in this project, old issues of the MONSTER TIMES were used for research. There will also be a special appearance by the hat Harrison Ford wore in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.
Additional Cast: Dr. Frankenstein: Tim Curry. Gene Simmons: Himself. Dracula: Frank Langella. Son of Dracula: Ringo Starr. Vampirella: Deborah Harry. Creepy: Richard O'Brien. Eerie: Meat Loaf. Lenny: Lou Ferrigno. Sky Masterson: Marlon Brando. Voice Specialist: Forrest J. Ackerman. Scary House: Ackermansion. Lawrence Talbot Jr.: David Naughton. First Homosexual: Robert Walden. Second Homosexual: Jack Bannon. DJ That Gets Killed: Murray the K.
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