THE NEW BILL COSBY SHOW. Instead of having Bill look uncomfortable doing mundane situation comedy or awkward variety show, MJM has Bill doing what he does best, trying to sell Jello Pudding or Ford cars for a complete half hour with no commercial breaks (since it's all commercial). Guests on the first show will be O.J. Simpson (Tree-Sweet and Hertz Rent-a-car), Billy ("The Fritz") Barty and a tribute to the late Bing Crosby for what he's done for Minute Maid.
THE CHIPPED MONKS. MJM's first foray into religious comedy. The chipped monks, engagingly played by Father Charles and Brother Theodore, are two religious men who find fighting the devil is more fun and rewarding after one tastes both sides of the coin while working with young people at a Catholic college. In the opener, the monks, in their zest to get new recruits, accidentally convert a chimpanzee just as the bishop is due for a visit. (The bishop is played by Phil Silvers because it was the only way to settle our lawsuit with him out of court since this premise of the premiere episode is a direct steal from an episode of SERGEANT BILKO.) In future episodes, Martin Mull visits as a young priest who causes an uproar with his song, "Jesus is Easy," and Carol Burnett reprises her Eunice characterization in an episode where she visits her brother Theodore when she decides to become a nun. Due to rumors of a possible breakup between the monks, a separate series is planned for each. For Fr. Charles, a series called FATHER KNOWS BEST about a conservative priest in a liberal parish or a liberal priest in a conservative parish (either way it'll be funny). For Theodore, a new show called OH BROTHER, about a monk who has to teach remedial students religion. The students include a heartthrob guy, an ethnic guy, a cool (or black) guy, and a stupid guy.
STAR WARPS. In the grand tradition of STAR TREK, CAPTAIN VIDEO, FLASH GORDON, BUCK ROGERS, MORK AND MINDY, SPACE PATROL, TOM CORBETT--SPACE CADET, SPACE PATROL, RICKY JONES--SPACE RANGER, STAR WARS, STARSHIP INVASION, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2 CENTURY, QUARK, ABBOT AND COSTELLO GO TO MARS, FLESH GORDON, THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES, SUPERMAN (both parts), BATTLESTAR GALLACTICA and YOGI'S SPACE RACE, comes this thrilling outer space sci-fi epic fantasy, detailing the out-of-this world adventures of Mark Soiltripper and his off-beat crew of motley misfits as they fight and struggle to maintain the order of the universe as we know it. The 21-hour pilot (3 hours every night for a week) details the preliminary adventure as Mark Soultripper (Tod Neumann doing his Gary Busey impression) gets together his crew to protect his beloved princess Maria Tylock Muir. His crew includes a cynical but lovable dog named Buster, a crazy but lovable anarchist woodpecker named Snarkle Voodheckler, and a super pig named Captain Grunteroo. All join forces against the evil and sinister space wolf, Dempty Void, who plans to do nameless things (which will be named by air time) to Maria Tylock Muir. Future characters in future episodes will include Lena Weinerwell, an obscene space Nazi, and Potbelly the Sailor, who is gruff but lovable. This is one show you can't miss since it will be all that is on the TV that week. Be sure and read the novelization by MJM press agent P.R. Ross! (Hopefully out by Christmas if P.R. can lay off the booze.)
So, as you can read you can sure see we have a great season in store (and in the station) for this year. Blow off all your studies so you can watch them all! You can always learn but there'll never be TV like this again! If you don't own a TV, steal one! These shows are good enough to go to jail!
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